I can so relate to everything you're saying. However, try to remember that although 7 months feels like a lifetime at the moment, it is not really that long. I promise you, things will get better.
You talk about feeling as though you're fixating on trauma. To me, it also felt as though I was fully alive for the first time in years--the pain was so intense, so omnipresent, and I was forced to face all sorts of questions about what sort of person I wanted to be, what I valued most in life and relationships, and what changes I wished to make for myself. In retrospect, I'm so grateful that I had this opportunity, and can admit I'd never have had it if we'd continued in our ruts.
Your life is not real any more in the sense that it has changed, forever. And you do need time to grieve that. Give yourself time to be authentic about how you feel at each stage, and you will find that detachment (and acceptance and forgiveness) will come to you when you reach the appropriate stage in your journey.
