Okay, like I said my wife didn't go to the meeting. However, I had a funny feeling or I was feeling insecure in the relationship today. So I checked the phone records. She knows I have access to the cell phone records, so it's no secret.
I saw that she had called the OM's office today and talked for like 15 min. First I was really upset, then I tried to figure out what it could be. I came to the conclusion that she may have been part of a conference call re. the meeting. Yet, I wasn't through working through it when my wife came home.
She saw I was upset and asked me. She knew all along what it was. (It turned out to be a conference call) So I told her. She gets this disappointed look on her face and says "this is how it's going to be for the rest of our lives isn't it?" What can I say to that?
In her eyes I "checked" up on her and when I found something I immediately got upset. I know I shouldn't be checking up on her, but from my perspective it's only been a month since she cut off contact with this guy. I'm not trying to justify my actions, I mean I have to build the trust some way. Also, I didn't react how I reacted in the past. I didn't get angry or throw wild accusations at her.
It was a fairly calm discussion - I wasn't mad, she wasn't mad (she did have that disappointed look on her face). She just feels that this kind of stuff sets us back, I feel that it's stuff that we have to work through. I mean I've come a long ways with the "snooping." Of course there is no way to prove that to her. She doesn't know that I don't check her computer or emails etc.
Of course she ended up going to be early but she did stay up all night with our sick son. Before she went to bed she said, "Can we just table this discussion or pretend it never happened."
So what's your take on this? Was I wrong to "check" up on her? Should she have told me before hand or after she called his office?
The worst part is that we had a great weekend as a family and as H&W.
Man this piecing is tough.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
