Hello to anyone who will give me hope-

[Sad_but_happy]

Hi Patience, I saw your post while at the gym and wanted to respond as soon as possible.

I feel sad for you but your are not completely done unless you feel done!

Tonight, allow yourself to be sad, cry, grieve. It is a necessary step in healing.

Tomorow, do something for you. Hang with a friend (male or female). Move on for you. If you truly move on and stop worring about W she will notice. It's far from easy but lets face it, what choice do you have?

My thoughts are with you tonight Patience. Know that people REALLY DO care!

[Bworl]

All you can do is what YOU can do.

We never possess the power to MAKE people change their minds.

Just know this...

The end for you is when you say it is. And I do not mean that in some trite, "hope you feel better" kind of way.

Whatever your wife does, she does not control how you feel and what you choose to do with yourself or your feelings. Yes, marriages have come back from the brink of divorce to be resurrected. Others do not.

Wouldn't it suck if you gave up based upon what your wife has done, even though you still loved her and thought a future was possible, only to find out that she did this wondering if you were really being the rock or not?


And no, I'm not trying to push you into standing forever.


I'm wanting you to understand that just as you do not and cannot control her, she should not be able to control you either.


You make the decisions for you.



We all have our own breaking points. For some it is infidelity. For some it is divorce. For some it is a remarriage after a divorce. We are all different and our hearts work differently.


How do YOU feel about this woman?

What do YOU want to do with the days and weeks ahead?



I'm sorry that you've had to travel this new road. I know the feeling, as do so many others here. It's scary and sad. It feels as though a piece of you is being ripped out from inside.


I am living proof however that it does not have to destroy you.


Others here are proof that divorce does not need to be the end if you aren't ready for it to be.




What I care about is what Patience wants.



Blessings,

Bill

[patience2010]

Got served, on December 14th. I have this week to file a response. She went on vacation with her parents on the 18th, and returned the 6th. she has really cut down the comunication. I don't know if I should reach out with a hello. I am praying alot. There is a 6 month period here in California before it's final. Just trying to work on me. Don't know if I am doing a good job or not, because this really hurts.. There is a website called rejoice marriage. It believes in standing for your marriage regardless of the situation, but I listened to a program from Joel Ostein, and he says when someone walks away from a relationship don't take it personal, move on. don't get wrong he mentions that if there is hope then by all means work on the marriage, but if not don't let yourself be held down by depressing emotions. I am confused.. There is a guy on here by the name "Roylovehiswife". Roy if you get this would love to hear from you, or anyone for that matter.

[patience2010]

Thank you

[patience2010]

Thank you Bill-)

[MrBond]

Do you have kids together? Have you talked at all about the situation? Can you give more specifics of your current sitch and what you've been doing so far?

[sandi2]

Standing for one's M is seen from every one's one personal POV. In many ways, I have admiration for those who can do it. However, I know me....and if my H wanted a D from me, there is no way I'd try to hold him. Guess that doesn't sound very DBish, but I don't want to force anyone into a R with me who doesn't want it....especially one as intimate as M.

Sometimes, it takes going through the D process for one to finally realize what it is they truly want.

You have to make the decision to set her free and see if she will return, or fight the D. What will leave her with better feelings toward you? Would you damage it more by fighting the D or giving it to her? Would there be a chance to meet up some day and have a brand new R with her?