DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

[MrBond]

"it's the fact that she seemed to care that something might be bothering me and was inclined to ask."

What's telling is not the fact that she asked but the fact that she didn't understand why you are still upset about the D. The thing you need to understand is that to the WAS what they're doing makes perfect sense and its everyone else who has a problem.

It's why they're able to say things like how they've NEVER been happy or how they regret ever getting married, etc. In my sitch, my W told me before how our wedding day was the worst day of her life and how she never should have done it. I gently but firmly reminded her that she was very happy and last time I checked, no one had put a gun to her head to force her to get married. After that she shut up.

So that's why sometimes you need to call them out on their BS when necessary.