Pickle, I know what you are talking about. At first you can't see what everyone on here is posting about when they say you have to quit worrying about her every move. You see no way around it. But, in time, it does come. I would say I am good 80% of the time. Somedays are bad, and it shows in my posts. When weak, I think this is a good place to be.
All the advice given to newbies about this, almost seems worthless. When you do start letting go, it seems like it just happens. Like you get so exhausted you can't do it anymore anyway.
Hopefully I am wrong. Maybe the advice gets us there that much faster. If the advice I have received has helped me step out of that phase 1 day sooner, it is priceless. Thanks to everyone.
Actually, getting early advice helped me a great deal, even some of the advice that was making things worse!
It's just good to have someone tell you "Everything's gonna be okay." and know that you are not alone.
As far as speeding up the process, I could't tell you. Getting blindsided by a D bomb is a traumatic experience, and each person's psyche begins to heal at their own pace.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
