The year of not my problem

[AJM]

...and so ended the year of not my problem. A pretty good end really. Not one I imagined or planned, but actually really good.

Sure I get annoyed by the STBX's crappy attitude. But it's just that: annoyance. I got annoyed briefly by the car accident. But only very briefly. Kept in perspective, things like that (plenty more - cause I'm alive are just events that came and went. But I will say that I am struggling with letting that last little bit go. I expect it will continue to be that way for a little while longer at least. I've been working hard on me and letting the end of it go.

Some friends asked me about what happened. I don't recall all the details anymore. I remember her offering me sex to initiate the divorce and stuff like that over the past few years. The highlights as I think of them. I realized why she moved back in - to saddle me with her debt for school. That was a good reminder of how I have buried my head about her thinking and what she has been doing. But all of that is meaningless - just trivial stuff that occurs that I am aware of so I can not make the mistake of thinking the best in the future and being caught unaware. Even that is not a big deal - I'm fine so the harm was mostly in my head.

I'm posting now to clean that part up. To possibly help others at some point to realize that we hurt ourselves FAR more than others can hurt us. The things that happen are meaningless in the final analysis.

So I leave with this thought:
"Everything happens for me, not to me." I am coming to realize how true that is as I continue to walk in this life. Also this, "Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark—hopeless"

Hope it helps somebody if they find this.

Take care and happy new year!!!!

AJM