i've been away dealing with this so sorry for the delay. did not have a good outcome or maybe it was. my friend from church helped me form a plan and came with me to talk to h and he was still really mad but different, icey stares and mostly quieter because my friend was there. my friend steered me into the kitchen and said he will gaurd me while i get some more small stuff and get me safely away from any more abuse. i took everything i could think of that is important to me besides any big stuff like furniture. i don't know if i will bother i can get new furniture. more icey stares from h while i do this but he didn't dare make a move toward me with friend by my side. he is a lot taller than h. i avoided most of the eye contact but friend told me that if h's looks could kill. h had bad body language real tense when i grabbed our smaller macbook and both of my ipods but i don't care. he would not have let me take them otherwise probably. we were there maybe 1/2 hour and left. this friend had told me that this was handled bad from the start and i should have called the cops when h hit me and i should have. my shoulder still hurts and the bruise is still kind of visible and dr says there is possible some kind of nerve damage now. it still aches all the time. dr also told me my std test was clear so that's good. so i stayed with mom over the holidays and refused the few calls and lots of text from h too, such as "i thought *** was my friend too, what do you guys think your doing" and i just ignored them all thought he would get the hint or get tired of trying to reach me but it seems to make it worse. he started to call my mom to try to get me to talk but she nicely told him no not right now can she take a message. no message. if he won't stop mom said she will see about a restraining order to make him stop. this is something else my friend said should have been done immediatly. he told me to save the text just in case because i wanted to delete them they were getting so mean. my friend calls me a few times every day to see how i'm doing and he is very encouraging me to confide in him and i trust him so i do. he takes me to the dr and to physcal therapy too. he took me to one of his friends house for a small dinner party on new years eve and it was nice of him. my h always wanted to stay home on new years and it wasn't so much fun after while i wanted to celebrate by going out one of those years. maybe a party and stay over at the raddisson, but no. he never wanted to. my friend goes and sits with me to church too and h has been staying away from there now but the other parishioners have been very supportive too. my friend has been really good about telling me how much information i should share with them right now and it helps a lot. he also gave me a list of lawyers to call when im ready. a domestic violence forum i read pretty much shows that abusers never stop hitting you it just gets worse and isn't it interesting that they control themselves enough not to hit anyone else but their w. and that is true because h was really mad i could tell but he didn't try to hit my friend. is any poster here struggling with violence? i would welcome advise here on it. thank you. sorry this was so long.
