I'm going to give you a little tough love. I'm sure you are both good guys, solid fathers, providers etc, and you can't imagine why your W has given you so much hurt over these last months.
Guess what? That feeling of betrayal, hurt, anger, confusion that you feel for your W. Your W has felt all that for a long time now for you. You have hurt them with your actions in the past, time and time again. They've felt real pain and now are probably just numb. These women didn't just wake up one morning and rationally decide to end a marriage. You have left emotional voids with these women and scars that need to be healed. It's not going to be healed by a few months of "good behavior" from you.
So next time you are a pity party about how bad your W is treating and how you don't deserve this because of what a wonderful H you've become. Just try to look at it from the side of your W. Did your W deserve that treatment from you? Do get why she might be done?
I'm not saying your W's are choosing the best course of action to deal with this. Clearly, things could've been handled differently by your W, (or you) so you never reached this stage. But you are where you are now.
I know all you want at times is just a little positive feedback...a sign. I get that. And I know it's hard, (on some level your W knows it's hard) But I really think you need to start there in hopes of dealing with the M. If it's too late, these are tools for your next R.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
