Lighthouse lit till WAW comes out of fog.

[habitacker]

Had a lot of snow last night. I got up a 4:30 this morning so I could push snow. We live in the country and I have to clear about 2 miles to town so wife and I can get to work and get kids to babysitter or school.

I can't help but wonder what she plans on doing on days like this if I am not around to do this. I am sure things like this are not in her mind, and not a reason to stay together, but I can't help but think about it.

Darn it, I am a pretty darn good guy, I want to take care of my family and do things like this. I have had my problems, sorry, but I am dealing with it. This sitch just seems way to severe for what has happened. We are supposed to be as one, we are supposed to work on things together and never give up. It can be better than it ever has been, I wish she could see this. Only I can see how I have changed. I hope over time she can to.

Other than my actions and just being the person I need to be, I feel so restricted of her being able to know who I really am. I know she can't trust. I wish there was some way we could communicate these things. But, I guess that is what I am working towards, and hopefully we can get to that communicating point. I will keep preparing, but I hate the feeling that I am preparing for a test I will never get to take.