Hi, I have been following a lot of threads, and been around, on and off, for a long time. As I heal I find I can once more read others' posts, and sympathise fully with what they are going through.
There is one area where I find myself in disagreement with many other LBS, and that is that I would never resume any kind of relationsihp with my h until the OW was completely out of the picture.
I am full of admiration for those of you who can begin reconciliation without this, but for me, our MLC spouses haven't really got it until they realise it really is the OW or us. People say they are not in a position to insist. Well, yes, and no. For me it is non negotiable, because OW is a symptom of the problem(s) they haven't addressed.
Perhaps it is a sign that I don't really want my h back, I don't thin,k I do at this point. I certainly have no desire to rescue him, or watch and agonise over 'baby steps'.
I am not suggesting btw that those who go this route are wrong - clearly it works for them, and for them it is worth it. Is my posiiton too full of pride? Anyway I thought it would be interesting to see what others think.
