DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

[ScaredinCanada]

That interaction between your mother and your W. Do you get along with your mother?

For sure. I haven't had any sort of R issues specifically with my M. The only problem I've had with both my parents isbeing able to confront them with a problem, or a something that they may disagree with. I have some sort of self-esteem issue with requiring my parents approval (I don't want to let them down or have them be disappointed in me).

Now let me state, this is a SUB-CONSCIOUS thing - it's something that is going on in my head that prevents me from doing the needful.

I started to deal with that shortly before Christmas when I sat down with my parents and explained the issue to them, to which they said standard stuff like "you can always talk to us, we are here for you" and "you never have to be worried about what you tell us, we love you regardless".

Just like everyone else they didn't understand that it's something that's in my make up it's simply something I've choosen to do.

Like I said, I'm taking the steps to move past this and part of it was flat out telling my parents they get all of me from now on, that I would fight the urge to hold back when something would be difficult to tell them.

My W also having the conversation, the telling my M how she felt betrayed and hurt by her also helped - although again I'm not sure if my M acknowledges it. She's had a lot of issues with her family, she didn't talk to her M for years, and still does speak with a couple of her sisters. So R mess is the norm for her.

My lack of ability to support my W, and put my mother in her place when necessary has really hurt my M. I've told my mother that I am really hurt by the fact that she's played a part in destroying my M.