I went up and told her I was kinda hurt that she did not say goodnight and she replied that she was laying in bed but not going to sleep
Look Scared, this is not attractive to women. It makes you appear feminine. It would have been better to either ignore it, or go to the bedroom door, open your arms wide, and say,"How 'bout a goodnight hug before going to sleep?" If she declined, then you shrug your shoulders and say, "Okay, your loss". But I can tell you this.....if you said mean things to her or the kids during the day, then don't expect affection from her.
You have repeatedly told how you have said mean and evil things to her and the kids. That can be verbal abuse and it will take an emotional toll on your kids...like you wouldn't believe.
The way you treat your wife during the waking hours, will determine how she will treat you at bedtime. What if her love language is words of affirmation? If so, that ship is sunk. It will be like raising the Titanic.
You've got to stop focusing on the fact she isn't giving you what you need and start concentrating on what you are giving. How many words of appreciation have you given her; how many words of praise, compliments, and a simple "thank-you"? You are trying to make a withdrawal from an account where you've made no deposits in a long time.
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I think I have been consistent so fa, granted only since last Tuesday but I am wanting to be better. How long should I wait for her to acknowledge my changes? When can I expect a hug or kiss?
Stop expecting it.l Focus on what you can give to the kids and HER. Words can destroy people, so you have to give it time to heal.
The best medicine for what hurts is laughter. Keep conversation light, instead of serious. Bring funny movies home to watch. Find clean, funny jokes to tell at the family dinner table. Plan fun things to do on weekends. The longer you can stay away from serious stuff and keep the atmosphere light hearted, the better chance of her being in a good mood.....and you too.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
