"she has always had the upper hand. She was pulling the trigger. She played phone tag with a mediator the week of Christmas. I have only spent 1 night at my apartment since my W was away on a ski trip this weekend. I am headed back tonight and we'll see how the week goes. I can always move back, but then what if she does pull the trigger. Then I am screwed."
First off you have to live with the reality of the situation. That's one of the most important things that Coach taught me. If you get D it will not be the end of the world. You will still be alive, kicking and you will go on.
The whole time going through this you are letting fear guide you. You are letting fear give your W control. Is that attractive to a woman? Do you think your W wants someone who will do whatever she wants you to? Hell no. She will only love someone she respects.
Her getting P.O'd whether you move out or not is what's got you stuck in place with fear. Right now you're the guy in the film Halloween with the murderer hacking away at your door and your back to the wall. You've got a choice, either you stay and be slaughtered or you grab something and fight. A little dramatic visual, but you need to start standing up for yourself without the fear of reprisal from her.
Look at the people who have had successes. They only did so when they started living for themselves and not for their spouse.
If you want to move away to be away from her, then do it. But don't do it because it's what SHE wants. She's bullying you and you don't realize it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
