On Figurative Ledge - Talk Me Down?

[Denver_2010]

I have been feeling that I am a doormat right now.

You are a doormat as long as you believe you are a doormat.

You are a doormat if you let someone elses choices dictate what you believe and choose.

You will always be beholden to someone if you let them wipe their boots on you.

What does that mean?

If you feel your W's choices define you. What you do because of those choices, regardless of your own will, honor and self...

If you react to her choices out of anger or any other emotion that is not part of yourself... that destroys yourself.

THEN you are a doormat.

AND

You will carry that into your next relationship. Whether that is with your W or not.

There is no better time than now Denver. To see and understand what kind of man you want to be.

Your choices define you. No one elses.

Thank you TrueGritter. I have never been a doormat to anyone before. I only feel that way now bc of the choices that my W is currently making. And I think that the reason that I was beginning to feel that way is due to how I assume others may be viewing my reaction to her choices. I assume that others, my friends and family, believe that I should respond with anger and action... that action being taking the initiative in the destruction of my M.

I believe that this, again, is my ego controlling my feelings about my own choices to stand and continue fighting for M. My ego says that I should respond how my friends and family would expect me, the old me, to respond. My ego says that my friends and family will not respect my decision to make the choice to fight for M under these circumstances. Does it matter what my friends and family think? It does NOT. I have to live with the choices that I make today and everyday going forward. I need to be able to look myself in the mirror. Not anyone else. I think that I have let my ego control my actions far to much in my life.