I really commend you for your willingness to do the hard work of working through your situation. I'm sorry that you and your wife have had to go through all this pain. I pray you will be able to work through it and save your marriage.
JAJ--people DO heal from all of these things: chronic infidelity, borderline personality disorder, etc. But as you know it isn't remotely easy. I'm glad you are treasuring every minute with your wife, because that's how you will rebuild, with faithfulness and love minute by minute.
Michele is an expert at this, so you've come to a good place. The folks on the board are very kind and helpful, many of us have been here many years posting. We, however, are NOT experts...not a single person on the board, so please get expert help, preferably from Michele or her coaches...and alternately with people who are closer to you. Your marriage will have the BEST chance if whoever you choose is committed to marriages as well as your mental health.
We are here to support you, you are not alone.
sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
