Today I have a free day. It's a long day because I have to see my surgeon last this afternoon and I am anxious. I've spoken to a couple of good friends on the phone. I realise how much they've supported me through all the trials of the last few years. I have been through so much with my illness and then the drama with my H.
I realise that I've had enough. I never thought I would feel this way but it hit me today when I received an email from H asking where I purchased my ironing hanger from. I answered with the store name and nothing more. I just couldn't be bothered. It actually irked me. I'm a bit like the others I have read before who've said the door is open. Yes, the door is open but I'm not holding it open, standing at the door as a greeter. The door is open but it's swinging and it could blow shut at any time. The only way it will ever remain open is for H to put his foot there as a doorstop. That won't happen. H is stuck and for me to allow myself to remain stuck with him is not doing justice to the life God has blessed me with.
