WAW tearing up our family

[Denver_2010]

So, here we are. No firm plans to S yet, but she has suggested that we get an apt and then take turns being home with the daughter (1.5 yrs old) and the 2 dogs.

I do think that would be best for D, but .... not sure it will let her experience being separate. We have always kept finances separate, but I make about twice as much (she makes good money too though). My gut tells me to insist that I'm staying in the house where my home office is etc. so that I can continue to prep the house for selling it in the spring (we intended to do this anyway). And, she could experience life without my income to assist her. I need help here. If the W intends to divorce anyway, the D will be changing homes anyway so is delaying this by 6 months worth the buffer it will give my WAW?

Step - I'm very sorry that you are here. No one wants to be, but it is a very good place to get support and advice. The tough thing with any advice though is that no one is walking in your shoes except for you. Good advice for one person may result in a train wreck for another. So choose the advice that you follow based on your particular sitch, what you know about you, your M, and your W.

IMO, my instinct is to agree with your gut on the living arrangements if/when you and W separate. It is a tough call, bc drawing a line in the sand on not sharing home for sake of D may push your W away from you initially. But I also think that you need to stand for what you think is right. You can only control your actions here. You need to learn that very quickly. Your W is making this choice and I agree with you, she needs to experience what life will be like without you. That means experience what it will be like if D happens. I assume that you would not agree to house sharing sitch if actual D occurs? I would cut her loose and let her experience what she is asking for right now... life without you. Work on you, being a great dad, having a good life, and learning how to be happy without your W.

I would read Divorce Remedy ASAP and specifically the chapter on Last Resort Technique. Others may think that this is premature, but MWD clearly states in DR that LRT needs to be applied if S has physically separated from you.

All this being said, please keep in mind what I said at the beginning of this post. Choose the advice that you follow carefully. And there are some vets on here that give great advice... Sandi being one.

Good luck man.

Denver