The last 3 days H has been a bit distant. Nothing blatant, but fewer texts, not calling me and telling me that he's going out to watch football one night and to a bar with his guys another night. There's not one thing I can pinpoint, but it's just a gut feeling. I think one of the reasons that my guard has been up is because I feel that H saw me pulling back and doing my own thing, panicked and tried to draw me back in, but underneath it all, still is not committed to me.
An acquaintance who has not given me the best advice in the past told me last night via text that my H is using me and that I am codependent. He thinks that I should cut H off and END it. I don't know what to do with that. I know all about codependency, have read the books, etc., but where's the line between being committed to your marriage and valuing it and the vows that you took despite the crap you are going through and being a codependent? I'm not working to save my marriage because I need my husband in my life. I know that I would be fine all by myself. I made a committment to H, to my marriage and I value it and I truly believe that in the long run, it would be more fulfilling to have worked through this and made a better M.
But maybe I am wrong?
I do know that I have been through enough with H and that there is very little more that I can take. So, if his behavior reverts back, we will most likely reach the place where things are "irretrievably broken".
The uncertainty is creeping back in with a vengeance!
Me: 33, H: 32 M: 12 years T: 13 years No kids D-Day: 7/2009 Separated: 10/12/10 Future Unknown GITS
"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele
