Thank you SA, Snodderly, Dolphin, punkin, GAG & CW
You all seemed to react the same way I did...what a brat...the sense of entitlement is unbelievable....mind you he had a perfectly good Iphone, just not the latest model...and our company is in the red...it wasn't a necessity....
Don't know what he expects me to reply to that email....I was thinking "whatever makes you happy"....but I'll probably just don't reply at all...I may say something that I would regret.
Was he seriously expecting a gift from me? He didn't give me one on my birthday...I was following his lead....
I would like to buy myself a "gift" from the company for my last b-day...but I won't....I'm still rational and responsible...unlike H.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
the sense of entitlement is unbelievable....mind you he had a perfectly good Iphone, just not the latest model...and our company is in the red...it wasn't a necessity....
This ^^^^^ seems like an objective reflection on a small scale of H's thought processes these days. Is OW just a human iPhone???????
Can you not take it out of his salary? Or, are you not in charge of that? Make sure you tax him on this little perk. Although, I guess you can just think ... "whatever" and move on and up. (Again, why are you not getting the business ... it seems it won't be around for much longer after you leave.) During my H's MLC (which has turned into depression) ... anyway ... I was the one who told him he deserves a motorbike for all his hard work. He bought a cool 1100cc Yamaha and rode it quite often for awhile. Now it sits in the garage. Hasn't been out in about a year.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Mila, Yes, he was expecting a gift from you. They feel entitled and think that they've done nothing wrong. Mom...your son/man was telling you what he wanted for his birthday. I wouldn't say one word to him about it....just keep the email as you do not know if you will need it later on for proof, etc., for the business.
They really are such children and in crisis, they are even more dangerous acting out then when they were really kids.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Good reply from Snodderly. Keep the proof. I keep copies of EVERYTHING I get from H. What you are facing with the business, besides your marriage, is so much more. ((HUGS))
oh my, I laughed when I read this...I know, not funny, that would mean I'm the old perfectly good Iphone...that will end up in the garbage lol....but seriously, I know what you mean...he is medicating himself with things that he thinks will make him happy.
Yesterday we went together "as a family" to an art show where D's work was featured, she won an award BTW :), and there was one piece of art that was about depression...H seemed to be really taken by the narrative when the artist was explaining about depression...I wonder if he ever realizes that's what he is dealing with...
Being - your H's "make feel good" bike has lost it's power...the "high" wears off, they abandon that toy and look for a new high....hopefully not OW...
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Yes, he was expecting a gift from you. They feel entitled and think that they've done nothing wrong. Mom...your son/man was telling you what he wanted for his birthday.
snodderly...you are right on, that's what I feel too. And yes they are much more dangerous acting out as adults...they have the power to do what little kids can't.
Punking, I'm keeping all emails, business and personal...although where I live there is "no fault" divorce....but never know what I will need it for....
oh yes after the awards show H suggested that WE take D & her BF out...took them for drinks at Starbucks....sat and chatted for about an hour....I was animated, chatty, laughing with the kids...H was subdued, more just listening then participating...and I've noticed his stare on me more then once...D left with her BF and I drove H to this place. Interesting that he again wanted to go as a family...in one car...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Journaling - all quiet today...no word from H...not even any business emails...But tomorrow we have a meeting with a potential client together...the client knows that we are married, but doesn't know about our separation...we will see if H pretends again that we are a happy H & W team....
Had a nice "date" last night, just went out for a glass of wine and a chat...this male friend is really good company...I like him...he asked me out again...keeps saying what a fool my H is to give me up....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
but right now at least I want to stay friendly with him....at least until the SA is signed
The one thing that I have begun to really understand when you are going through the D process is that trying to stay friendly will work as long as YOU agree with everything THEY say and want. Be careful Mila. I agree to try and do this as nice as possible, just expect that nice to him may be HIS way.
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However I was ticked off by his requests today and didn't reply in my usual friendly manner
I still say why reply at all. Look Mila, he is a big boy and you are not his mother. He needs something let him figure it out.
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Eric - now that you are dating you have better things to do than drive my car
It is BECAUSE I am dating that I need the car. I just may have to hand in the Jeep after the alimony payments  - hence I need wheels.
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Should I give him a gift? I'm thinking not...he didn't give me one for my B-Day..
Seriously Mila….do what you want to do. Expect nothing. But do not, NOT do something because of HIS actions. That would not be being true to Mila.
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I hope that he doesn't expect me to bake him his favorite b-day cake
Well if ya do want to bake a cake you can always mail it me….I live at……. (ha fool ya Mod…I bet ya thought I was gonna post my addy- ha!)
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More popcorn anyone
Covered with Caramel please.
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To be fair, I have withdrawn bit as well, just being very matter of fact,
IMO, that is the way ya have to be.
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Next, why don't 'the business' buy you a Rolex for your years of dedication and service, as you are moving on to bigger and better things. There will be an invoice next month under 'business expense'. No, I'm not kidding. Why should they be the only ones to profit from their perfidity?
I agree with Punkin on this one ^^^^. Now IF I were you I would let him know that he will see several thousand dollar charges on the business for 1) trip to Paris – FOR 2, 2) male escort 3) rolex watch 4) trip to Spain – for 2 and finally, you always wanted a new Mercedes convertible so add that in.
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to an art show where D's work was featured, she won an award BTW :),
Congrat to D.
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and there was one piece of art that was about depression...H seemed to be really taken by the narrative when the artist was explaining about depression...I wonder if he ever realizes that's what he is dealing with...
Mila, who gives a rats as* if he realizes it – I mean really – Mila, please stop making excuses for him.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
