This Storm Shall Pass

[punkin]

Do you all believe that DB really works best before our spouses actually leave, while there is still a thread of commitment to the marriage?

Of all the good questions you put forth, this is the only one I feel I can truly answer with any degree of accuracy. Yes, DB'ng would work better before they leave, but so many of us, in fact, most of us, don't or won't realize there is a problem before the door hits them in the seat of the pants.

I know I made excuses and accepted lame excuses for my H's temper, drinking, etc. Laid it all off on the stress of the job. Everything would be better once he retired. Yeah, right.

And then there is the problem of even getting our Spouse to acknowledge a problem even exists. If you are not careful, they will have you believing it is you that is crazy.

All this doesn't mean it can't or won't work out. You've been at this much longer than me, and the standard wisdom here is that you will know when you are done. I have chosen to, as I call it, stand down. It doesn't mean I'm through standing for my marriage, just that I am no longer allowing myself to be involved in his craziness. I'm no longer living as a hermit. I'm GAL'ng to the best of my ability, and actually having a blast.

I have read the analogy, "I'm walking on down the hallway, but I didn't shut the door behind me." I believe this applies. Whether that takes weeks, months, or years, who knows? If ever? But I won't be the sad old lady with 37 cats waiting for him to walk through the door wearing his shining armour.

You have obviously found great comfort from the Bible. I hope you continue to do so. The hardest lesson I've found is that all things happen in God's time. Not our time.

So yes, things would probably work better if DB'ng started before our H/W left, but in a perfect world, who would need DB'ng? ((HUGS))