Well, I will say the "vibe" w/ him gone is completely different. I can totally see how without children, they'd be GONE and DONE with you--we represent "failure".
My H kept saying he thought he was doing the right things. I am like you D4ML, quiet and "people should know how I am" kind of person. I probably should have spoken up a while ago and made him aware that focusing on a trailer for 5 years wasn't "doing the right thing". Now he realizes, but he has all his friends, parents, siblings, etc, telling him to "move on".
But we have a child together, so there will be no "end" to this. And I haven't decided if this is good or bad. Depends on how he treats me I guess. It does allow me to be kind to him still. Your H doesn't know how you'd treat him--if you'd be ugly or not. Your range of emotions have to be dealt with and I think they just don't want to have to deal with them.
I know my h's range of emotions are not easy to deal with--heck--he is miserable and depressed right now and THAT is hard--makes me depressed just to think about it!! Angry, depressed, happy--they are all just HARD to deal with.
My neighbors are giving me a couch and loveseat today--my ugly disgusting torn up couch is going on the porch for the dogs. I am overwhelmed again by the kindness of people around me.
And I ripped up the carpet in the bedroom and put down a big area rug--cleaned everything top to bottom and got out H's grandmother's furniture. I don't know if I get the house, but that carpet had to go regardless. It is a blessing to focus on something and make it "mine" in a sense. My S helped and he was so proud of himself and it made him feel good to help his mom.
