On Figurative Ledge - Talk Me Down?

[Denver_2010]

I would like nothing more than to give her the hardline boundaries speech, but am fearful that it will push her to divorce. If we did not have any kids, i would go there in a second, but am trying to keep things going as long as possible for the benefit of the kids.

Well, that's kind of where I am struggling right now Punchy. My W and I don't have any kids, so I wonder why the h*ll I am still hanging around fighting for our M. I never thought that I would allow my W or gf to be so disrespectful. But I guess that we never really know until we are in a particular situation. I think part of the reason that I am still trying is bc I feel so responsible for the failures of our M. I was such a depressed pr!ck the 10 months prior to W doing this, that i feel that I drove her to it. At the same time, does it really justify her actions? I mean I vowed to love her and stay with her through bad and worse, that is what I am currently doing, but so did she damn!it.

Sometimes I am so sure about my decision to wait this out, yet at other times, I feel like such a freakin doormat. I need to work through these feelings and figure out what is the right course of action for me. What is going to make me happy in the long run, not the short term? How will I best be able to look myself in the mirror once the dust has settled one way or the other?

I don't mind giving my wife time to sort out what she needs, but not when OM is in the picture.

Exactly. OM makes situation so much worse it seems. I think that it just hits our self respect in a way that no other situation can. IMO.

thanks Punchy