Denver, you are still in the stage where W is living in your thoughts and emotions. You've got to get to a place where you're not constantly wonderning about her. The number one goal for you immediately is to work on the emotional detachment. It is not easy and it takes time but you'll soon realize that the emotional state you're in is getting old and tiresome. That does not mean you don't still love her and don't want to salvage the R, but slowley, little by little you are going to have to detach from her drama and not be dependent on her for your feelings and personal happiness.
Try not to spend too much time alone; be with other people, friends, family, or even coworkers or just make idle banter on these forums. The sooner you get to a point where you don't even give a sh!t where she is or what she's doing and who she's with, the sooner you regain control of the whole sitch. You can then establish concrete intermediate goals for your personal fulfillment as wall as the relationship, without the two being interdependent on one another, so that if one doesn't happen the other still can and vice versa.
My sitch has been driving me nuts for 2-1/2 months now and I am finally climbing out of the wreakage emotionally. If she serves me I'll deal with it. If she continues to sleep on the couch and avoid being with me, I'm fine now; I'll just wait her out and see what develops. I have accepted the fact; she is what she is and will do what she's gonna do.
Detach man: play golf, go fishing - life is too short for this crap so LIVE man.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
