This is a match made in heaven then GAG. H likes to be the hero and the ow is very needy. Intimacy isn't a concern because H was having problems in that area when he left.
ow gets upset at the time H spends with the girls. D18 found a text from H to ow, saying that he was sick of her being depressed when he spent time with the girls, that he wasn't going to stop seeing them or going to their functions. ow must see it as a victory when H blows off the girls to do something with her.
ow texts H almost constantly at times when he is with the girls. Most of the time he doesn't text her back. There have been times he looks at them, sighs, and then shuts his phone off. Is it possible that ow's jealous of H's time with the girls because she views them as competition because of what her father did to her? That would be really messed up.
ow also told her XH that she told her mother about the sexual abuse and her mother told her to shut up and never speak of it again. One of ow's brothers was also sexually abused by the father and he ended up committing suicide. I don't know about the other siblings. I don't believe ow ever received therapy.
H has got himself into quite a mess and I don't think he's aware of how deep it goes. D12 was over visiting at their house when the ow wasn't there and she saw a pic of ow's mother and father. H told D, yep, her mother worshiped her father and misses him so much.
No, I haven't read about Tyler Perry's writings. Will look into that.
GAG, thank you so much for all of your insight into this, and your wisdom. This is all becoming clearer now.
