DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

[ScaredinCanada]

Ok yesterday was a crazy day for the number of things that happened.

Just as I was getting home from work, I got an e-mail from my mother asking to talk D4 out on Sunday to get a dress for her birthday. I replied and told her I would have to talk to the W and get back to her.

So I talk to the W, and she says "If your M wants to see my kids then she can call and ask me herself - she's not going to get the joy of seeing the kids while avoiding me completely." I agreed with her and I said it made sense. So I called my M and told her she'd need to call and talk to my W in order to find out if she could take D4 out. She said that be fine and she'd call after the girls were in bed.

Next my W tells me that maybe I should watch the movie "Eat Pray Love" from the night before that she told me I wouldn't like it. She finished it, and believes I might actually like it. I told her there wouldn't be time for me to watch it last night because the kids were watching a movie. I honestly believe after the Julia Roberts character leaves her husband and finds someone else, they probably go back in the end to show you that her exH is also happier now since the D.

So here's the quote word for word (as she wrote it down):
"We all want things to stay the same afraid of change, afraid of being ruined. Ruin is a gift a road to transformation" the second part appears to be a different quote, "Both of us deserve better then staying together for fear we will be destroyed if we don't".

Talk about supporting her position. Between these love story/always happy ending chick flicks and the save a horse ride a cowboy country music - she is living in a dream world. She believes life is too short, and that there something (re:someone) better for her if she just goes for it (re: divorce her crappy husband SIC).

Next she tells me she called and booked IC - my jaw dropped. I was shocked but happy. Ends up we have the same C, which I'm not so sure I like. I've only been to her twice, but like I said earlier she's not exactly instilling confidence in me. She's heard of DB and MWD but she didn't exactly endorse it. She says she also does MC, so I am a little nervous that we'll get pulled in together too soon. Her appointment is on Monday night.

So we get the girls to bed, and my M calls at the strike of 9pm. I answer the phone and tell my M, that I'll get my W. It starts out ok, they talk about D4. Then my W just starts laying into her about THEIR R how damaging it's been to our M. My W has an azamaing memory and she was grilling my M with specific incidents and even the specific hurtful things she said to my W almost 15 years ago! I felt really good at first, she ended up talking for about 30 minutes. It ended with my W refusing to accept my M appology and telling her that she's done and wants no R with her. She said she won't try and keep the kids from her, but will not step foot in their house again.

I tried not listen the whole time, but I kind of needed to know what my W was getting off her chest. I was actually shaking, again because I avoid conflict, and the thought of having to speak to my M next time is terrifying. I have no idea how she reacted when she got off the phone? Did she cry to my F all night, did she build and eve n stronger resentment for my W?

I don't know. I'm certainly glad it happened, but I am slightly scared when these mountains are climbed because I also feel like it's one more thing crossed off my W's list before she walks away for good.

This morning was good, I got up with the kids and I let the W sleep in. When she got up she talked briefly about the convo with my M, and basically just said she felt really good to have gotten it off her chest.

Then she asked me out of the blue, how much she thought we could sell our house for? I told her, and she said she thought we could get more. I just told her I was thinking about selling right now, and that it's never a good thought to sell in the winter anyways.

No other changes - towards US she is as cold as ever.