You can read my long, drama filled saga if you have a spare 3 days.
Anyway, things are great! Cannot complain. 2010 was one of the best years yet. Started off hard, ended hard, but for all good reasons.
My H has a drinking problem. I can proudly say he is now in full recovery! Hasn't had a drink since August. Before that it had been 6 months. A bad night. Something was watching out for him and he got pulled over and recieved a DUI. Long story short he ended up spending 3 weeks in jail in November. One of our conditions for R back in March was he be sober. He was sober for months except for the one fateful day in August when he was busted. He now says that was the best thing that could have happened to him. He has NO desire or urge to drink ever again. Attends AA meetings 6 days a week and is so on fire for sobriety.
He and I have our ups and downs, but have a stronger relationship than ever before.
Now its my insecurities that are causing issues. He had been unfaithful and so dishonest for years, especially when drinking. I am having a hard time letting go of that. I still get twinges of 'Oh no. What is he really doing?' We attend counseling 2 times a month and he goes weekly. He says he only thought about and acted out with other women when drinking. Counselor says alcohol affects people different. I can drink and just get sleepy and laugh. For H, he gets crazy. Literally. He really loses control of himself and his logic. Counselor said that alcohol is toxic for H.
Honestly, H is a different man. The only complaint I have is he gets frustrated now with me when I get insecure and snappy. Then it turns into an argument. I guess I would have to say my insecure outbursts happens less and less as time goes on but it still is heartwrenching.
We plan on getting remarried in February. Just a very simple ceremony with our 6 kids (3 mine, 2 his, 1 together). I couldn't be happier. H is now the man I wanted him to be years ago. Why do I keep letting these things creep up and cause problems?
Thank you so much for reading this and your advice and support! I love this community!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I couldn't be happier. H is now the man I wanted him to be years ago. Why do I keep letting these things creep up and cause problems?
Hi Startingover2 I've never commented on your thread before; Plus, I've never been in a situation where there's been alcoholism. So please forgive if this is off base and accept my support and encouragement instead! My comment is this - your remarks reminded me of something I was listening to in the audio version of Melody Beattie's 'Codependent no more'... let me see if I can remember... she said that a lot of couples are surprised to find that once the alcoholism is dealt with, there are other problems that suddenly 'appear'. Not because they've never been there before, but because for so long they took a back seat to the alcoholism. Have you read that book? Does that sound like it might apply?
Take care, FMV.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
What a rollecoaster for you, with a great ending! I remember you since the early days I posted here. I was so mad at your H reading all the things he put you guys through...
I've been reading something about the brain and the way it is sructured trying to udnerstand all my feelings regarding H's infidelity. I will find the link and post it on my thread, it makes sense and I think it would help you understand the insecurities you are facing. Stay strong K
