Seeking, I'm just pondering over your dream. H is the one who is chasing the train and ow is sitting up front in the train, aware of H's desperate attempts to board the train but doing nothing about it.Perhaps that is how it is for them. Is ow the one who has the power? Is H chasing after her or perhaps it is him chasing after whatever he thinks will make him happy today(a divorce?)? You are there as an observer who has a clear perception of events but you recognise you can't control your H's actions.
IDK Cas. Maybe the dream means I've finally accepted the fact that there's no hope for us.
I'm questioning everything I thought to be true. Maybe my H is not in MLC. Maybe from his perspective our M was just that bad that he used ow as the only escape route possible at that time.
If after 15 months of living with her he finally filed he must be sure that she is what he wants. The confusion I thought he was experiencing seems to be gone. After all, he is giving up his relationships with some of his children and damaged the rest of them to be with her.
By filing for this D it will cost him more than he is paying out now. (Of course he doesn't know this yet as he still believes he's calling the shots concerning the terms of the D.) She really must have been the love of his life.
It is an interesting take on the dream Cas. Thank you for sharing.
I think dolphin has a very perceptive possible view of your dream. And perhaps you are right, and you are accepting the inevitable. But here's another take:
IF she was truly the love of his life, would it have taken 15 months to file??? Perhaps the significance of the dream is that he feels as if he is constantly running to catch up, and is losing both of you in the process. She may have presented him with an ultimatum after all this time, and he feels he has no other choice.
Personally, if I met 'the love of my life' as if there were such a thing for most of us, I'd want the rest of my life to begin immediately, not 15+ months later while I thought it over.
No, Seeking, I don't think you need to 2nd guess your perceptions up to this point. OW may still be driving this train for H, but you are definitely not a passenger.
Think of it as having one less person to worry about. Now, you can concentrate on just you and your children. Emphasis on the YOU.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
I'm not there, of course, but I still say Talk is Cheap. IF he KNEW it was truly what he wanted with all his heart and soul, nothing, not family, money, retirement, or security would have kept him down for 15 months.
The same holds for my H. Straight from the L's mouth, "No one can hold up a divorce if the other truly wants it." Apparently there were concerns, both obvious and not obvious, that were more important than the OW. In the back of his mind, he knows this person dumped on him before, she's capable of it again.
Not saying this just to be 'on your side'. I truly believe it. I've just reached the point that any further concerns of my H do not concern me. Triple (((HUGS)))
I agree with you 100% on what you are saying. It's possible that H now believes he and ow are forever and that's why he's finally filed. I would not doubt they marry right after the D is final.
I am no dream analyzer...but I think the train moving away from H means that you are moving on...not sure what OW signifies other than neither you nor she will be able to make him happy...he has to learn to do that on his own...
As for him not being in MLC...I think we all go thru that where we doubt it and believe that WE are the reason for them leaving and having an A! Your H changed after the stroke...whether it is something physical that happened in his brain because of that or if he is in MLC...really doesn't matter which...it is NOT YOU!!!!!
Thanks for checking in!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
