Oh God, Tank, this is not good. I don't have kids, but what I do have is a history with this stuff. My father is a recovering alcoholic, 3 out of 4 of my siblings struggled or are struggling with addictions, 3 out of 4 of my grandparents had addictions and countless uncles. I don't drink, my H calls me a killjoy, I call it survival.
You can't let your kids be there. I know you already know this. I know you are fighting for W and I know that being combative on this is going to compromise this. But you can't let your kids be there. Please place an emergency call to your lawyer and let him know what is going on. BTW, do the kids have a lawyer yet? If not, have you encouraged them to speak with the counselor about what they have told you. The second they do, that counselor is going to need to report it if she/he feels that they are in danger.
Your W is not in a good place at all. I don't know what "OM wouldn't intentionally hurt the children" means. I don't know how that is supposed to make you feel better. It SHOULDN'T make you feel better. Her natural instincts to protect her children is COMPROMISED while she is dealing with addiction. Not only should they not be in a car with OM, your children should not be in a house with these people. And I will warn you, this will be one of the hardest things that you'll have to do. But, it sounds like children are smart and are supporting you.
The other night, while doing reading, I was learning about the falling in love process, what chemicals are released, what it does to people's thinking. Basically it said that anyone who thwarts the process of being with the object of that affection is viewed as "the enemy." They said this could be the S, a pastor, children, anyone. This is why I made the original comment about children pushing her. But this situation is much more complicated, Tank.
I'm very sorry for what you are going through. You need to be so proud of yourself for writing everyday and getting your thoughts out there. I will tell you this, people do recover from addictions. It takes time but they do. They have to hit rock bottom, though. That is almost ALWAYS the case. In all those people I mentioned in the family NOT ONE of them decided to get help until they hit bottom. This sounds so trite, but it is so true. Take those kids away and you will hasten the bottom. She might resent you, but you need to protect them and in the end, you ARE helping W too.
You've got a road ahead of you. You need counseling. I know kids are doing counseling, are you as well? I say this because addiction is complicated and you are going to need help getting through that. All IS NOT LOST. There is definitely hope. It is just that you are going to need to take care of things a bit differently now.
