"Yeah, I'm doing all of these things for me. I felt like I had to hand the reigns over to her regarding the divorce because 1. she was in control of her decision making anyway and 2. her lack of decision making was a big part of the reason she wants out. "
Good that your changing for you. She feels that divorce is the only option....fine. whether you agree or disagree that divorce is the only option doesn't change her feelings. waste of energy to fight on this topic. let her pull the weight on getting the paperwork and things in order to get it done. Once you have the proposal you will review it and get back with any concerns...
"I'm not sure how I can seem strong through the divorce process while at the same time giving her control. But me making the decision to do what is best for me is definitely a bold move. I hope that that will start to let her see me in the light that attracted her to me in the first place."
You can be emotionally strong for yourself, and so detached from her crap behavior that it just doesn't even bother you anymore. Your entire world is crumbling in front of your eyes. Yet when she looks at you and what you've become she can't help but admire your strength. Time for you to lead by example. Be the change that you want see from her.
