Drive The Bus, Or Be The Passenger?

[Kemper]

It was only later, when we were completely reconciled that I realized there was never a chance that it wouldn't work out once both of us decided that we wanted to reconcile.

My concern isn't that it can't or won't work, but rather knowing or better yet feeling that my W is 100% committed. I hear the words my W is saying, but some of the actions aren't matching. That could just be me expecting more at this given time than my W is capable of, and this isn't related to sex. It is more about how I feel when we are together and how I expect (maybe incorrectly) her to do certain actions that match her words.

Loving is doing. It is actions.

I think your statement above sums it up the best. It is the actions that I am not seeing.

To stay married to the same person for one's whole adult life, you have to be willing to trade off the feeling of shiny, new love for comfortable, old love.

I agree 100% and I am not looking for the shiny new love. What I am looking for is my W to be loving towards me unselfishly. It is the little things that I miss, the responses that let me know that she does want to be with me.

Here is an example of what I mean, and maybe I am just being crazy. I sent the following text last night to my W.

Me: The boys r in bed and I wish you were here!! xoxo
Her: I will be there tomorrow!!

Maybe it is just me but my response would have been. I wish I was there too. I can't wait to see you tomorrow!! xoxo

I know I want a solid relationship, I have never been one to jump from relationship to relationship to get the "in love" feelings. I just want to feel that the person I am with wants to be with me through their words and actions.