First off, don't beat yourself up anymore... Everyone hear makes mistakes and let's their feelings get the best of them. The most important thing to do now is get yourself under control. Google LIVESTRONG detach and read this every single time you are overwhelmed. I would also like you to consider investing in a DB coach or at least an IC (and at the very least a close friend) to listen to your concerns/feelings and formulate a plan on how you will proceed with your life.... Becoming stable and in control takes hard work and a lot of time..
