I don't think they can face the inward journey that ADs and therapy can bring about. A bit/lot of who they are really doesn't want to face those demons.
My h had exactly the same reaction to the suggestion of many people around him, not just his immediate family, that he needed help, needed friends etc.
The reason I needed to understand the nature of the crisis was in order to know how to respond to certain behaviours, if that makes sense. Because my h is now largely irrational I never try and reason with him, although he is a highly intelligent man. Someone pointed out to me that what they feel, they believe to be true. A normal person feels something, and they consider if this is a reasonable way to feel, and whether it relates to any external reality. Even if we have sound instincts about things, we still do this. In their highly emotional state, our spouses don't. If they feel that the marriage was unhappy, for them it was. No evidence to the contrary will persuade them otherwise, until the feel otherwise.
They are ruled by feeling, not reason. To some extent we all are swayed by feelings, and sometimes our feelings are right, but not always. We have intellects as well as feelings, and there is a reason for this!
