Positively moving forward

[kml]

WEll, about the night terrors - if they are true night terrors and not just nightmares, it may not be related.

The difference is, with night terrors, they don't fully wake up - they may be crying or screaming, but you can't wake them up.

My son used to have them at this age (and NOTHING bad was going on in our lives at that time). It was exhausting. Finally I figured out, that if I picked him up and carried him to the bathroom, stood him in front of the toilet and ran the tap water so he would pee, then he would sleep soundly the rest of the night. In his case, the night terrors seemed to be caused by having a full bladder but not being able to just wake up for it.

[awest1217]

Thanks for the information.

The night terrors I know are from him being moved after falling to sleep. If he falls to sleep in one place and I move him, he will usually have a night terror, but the nightmares and just crying in his sleep is new. I am not too worried but just making an observation, not ready for a cause-effect relationship. I didn't realize S's allergy until I realized when I wrote about his sickness. Then I noticed the relationship so it definitely helps me to write.

[awest1217]

Busy, Busy, Busy!

January is always my busy month because I have a lot going on in the classroom plus I have science fair at the end of the month. Plus with book adoption I have extra meetings where I have to miss class so I have to make lesson plans. I also got an ipad to check out to see if we want to use them next year instead of books get ebooks. Thoughts? I would love to get other teachers, parents, and even business people's ideas on students having ipads or laptops instead of books in school.

Also nothing from the L so goign to call her in a bit. The court date is next Thursday and nothing about the property agreement. I hope that H doesn't draw this out.

And not surprising, nothing from H since last Wednesday. He text me new year's to ask for a text to say we got home, but not one text or call to check in on S. So much for wanting to be more involved.

S is very very clingy again. I didn't sleep last night because he kept waking up and wanting me to hold him. We are back to like it was last year where I have to go to bed with him or he won't even fall asleep. He didn't get to sleep last night until 9:30 and woke up every couple hours asking for me to hold him. Not sure what is up. It could be going back to school or just a phase or who knows? I spent all afternoon with him yesterday and cuddled him a lot so he wouldn't be so bad at bed time, but he was this way even before going back to school. It just got slightly worse.

Now off to do more work.

[awest1217]

Talked to the paralegal yesterday and she said there has been nothing from H's L. She said to call back today in the afternoon and she should know more because my L was off last week for the holidays (I don't blame her) and yesterday was in court all day, but calling H's L was on the list to do today. I also found out in my county that I do have to go to court no matter what, even if an agreement has been reached so I will have to miss next Thursday and be at the court when my D is finalized, as long as a continuance is not sought. I am hoping there won't be a continuance because I just want this done.

I will know more tonight.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Just popping in here because I'm always impressed with the advice you offer in CTH's thread.

Re: ipad, they're awesome little devices. Basically a bigger version of the iTouch or the iPhone (minus the phone). I've had one for a while though I don't use it as much anymore. Most of the execs at my company use them. They're pretty good as an ebook reader but that's just one function of it (Kindle has better rendering capabilities when it comes to books). Where the iPad really shines is the $1.99 apps and its 8-10hr battery life. Perfect traveling companion. The bad part is no flash so certain websites etc won't work. While I'm a geek, I still prefer sitting down with a paperback and flipping pages rather than reading onscreen though looking into the future most things will be digital including books.

I too have a settlement conf next week and while I'm getting rolled financially I hear you. I can't wait for this to be over and final.

Sorry about S3, they definitely feel the separation anxiety. There was a time when I couldn't pump gas in the car because D6 thought I'd leave her in the car and won't return. She's much better now but still asks me to crack the window (which I don't like because of the fumes). I also occasionally have to roll the air mattress out when she wants me to sleep in her room.

[awest1217]

IR - my court date is to finalize the D, not a settlement hearing so I didn't understand why I had to go, but now I found out that I don't. With S, it is hard on him because he will go a week where H is super involved to not hearing from or seeing him for two weeks. It is just weird to me. I really just want some consistancy for S and myself. If H wants to be involved and call S and talk to him then do it maybe once or twice a week on a regular basis so S gets used to it and will have more to talk about. Not the call everyday one week and the next two only text right before he gets him. H doesn't know S at all and so when H has S, he constantly texts me to see why S is acting different or what is going on or what he should do. I feel like H is a babysitter instead of a parent so it is hard.

Talked to the paralegal yesterday. I don't have to go to court on the 13th and H's L said he would send over the agreement this week so I should have it early next week and hopefully it will still be finialized on the 13th. As long as H didn't try to pull any fast ones. Also I found out that I have to do the debit card thing which stinks, but oh well. I will just have to readjust how I pay my bills.

Lastly, I don't know what is up, but over the last week and a half I have been dreaming every night about the same guy and just holding his hand and having him helping me. I never have had this problem before. I am very independent and always have been, but I guess I am feeling very lonely. I wake up and my heart aches. Maybe it is the D getting finalized, maybe it is because I have been talking to this guy a lot lately, maybe it is that I am lonely. Who knows? But I don't like the feeling...

Otherwise everything is going well. S is doing a little better so that is good. Now that I don't have to miss work next week I feel better. I do have to miss half a day the week of the 18th and a full day the week of the 24th to go to meetings about textbook adoption. I really like the ipad, but I can't find anything that is age appropriate that is also educational. Everything is either too sophisticated or too juvenile, but I am thinking I might like to go this way...maybe...

[awest1217]

No getting finalized on the 13th...H's L still hasn't sent anything so we will have to get a new date (who knows when that will be) and we may have to take a day off of work and do a mediation meeting for no reason. H and I already agree on what needs to be changed. It is just H getting his L to put the changes in writing, unless there are things I didn't know that he wants changed, but if it is only what we discussed it won't be a problem and we could have been done next week.

I let H know I was not happy because he finally text about S yesterday. I sent a one word reply and H said sorry I haven't checked in lately, which set me off so I told him exactly how I feel. I told him that if he doesn't want to be a dad that is fine, but this inconsistancy has to stop because I am the one who suffers the consequences. Then I told him I am tired of him screwing me over when I have been nothing but nice to him through this whole thing considering what a butt he has been to me. He asked what he had done and I told him about how everythign will be postponed again and cost me more again because he can't seem to get his end done. I asked if he still wanted a D, and he responded that he has been e-mailing his L everyday (I doubt it since he supposedly sent the paperwork to my L in October and really didn't until middle of November) to see what is happening. I told him this arrangement between us would be a lot better if the D was finalized because then I wouldn't be getting annoyed with him anymore and I could move on with my personal life instead of always wondering what is next. He asked what he could do and I told him either call your L and get him to do his job or fire him and call my L and tell her what needs to be changed so we can be done. I have personally had it with his lies and not following through and now I don't feel like I have to always be nice. I can tell him that I am mad and why.

On top of that, yesterday I fell on my driveway. I am ok so not a problem there, but it did not make me happy.

Really besides that my world is good. School is going well and even my horrible class is getting a little better because I am punishing them nonstop and giving new seats.

Once the D is done I will just be relieved because that is one less thing I have to have on my plate. Then I can finally get back to just caring for S, work, and sunday school.

[BeingMe]

Good for you, Awest, for standing up for yourself. It is concerning that he is not consistent with S ... very important for a little boy his age to know his world is firm and trustworthy. This dad coming in and out of it in an irregular fashion is just not on. Your S is so lucky to have a mom like you.

[ImprovedRomeo]

You do sound very independant and smart. However, even the most independant people feel lonely sometimes and there's nothing wrong with it. I'd say enjoy your dreams! you might wake up one morning with a big smile on your face and since it's all in a dream no harm no foul right?

Glad you told STBX how it is, the big question though is whether he cares? I hope he does but in my experience they don't and once again it'll be up to you to take the steps necessary to protect yourself or just roll with it. Sounds like the D is just about done so it's just a matter of getting the papers?

Sorry about the fall, glad you're ok though. You're doing great and sounds like you're in a good place

[awest1217]

Thanks BeingMe and IR!

H text yesterday that he wanted to call S on the ipod so I tell S and he starts running around the house screaming "NO! NO! I don't want to talk to daddy!" It is sad to me because S doesn't have a relationship with his dad, even though I have tried to warn H about it. There is still time for H to change that image, but right now S wants nothing to do with him except to go over there every other weekend to play with his toys. Otherwise he doesn't want to talk to him or call him. With me, S wants to call me and asks to call me so I know it isn't that S doesn't want to talk to someone or like to talk. Just sad, and it didn't seem to bother H at all when he saw and heard S screaming. He said no problem and went on to tell me quickly that he bought me a book for my classroom. Really?!?!?! I don't get him at all. He doesn't get any boundaries or that I want him to just get this D done and then just let me be even though I have told him in those words a number of times.

Anyway it is a blizzard here. Thursday I had about 2 inches after school to shovel. No big deal. Then yesterday when I got home another 3 inches, but now I have looked outside and there has to be at least 6-8 inches more so total in two days is about a foot. The biggest problem is I always go grocery shopping the first weekend of the month and I can't because my road isn't plowed at all and the main roads are not staying clear either. I have food to eat, but nothing really to drink besides water. We just ran out of milk (that I get every week) and juice. So now I am off to try to shovel again, and it is still coming down. I so wish I had a snow blower...even though I don't have a lot of sidewalk to shovel. It would just be nice on days like this where we get a lot.