hi MrBond and Lotus thanks for your support, i do have very low slf esteem, i have been asking myself the same question for weeks, why do i want someone who treats me so badly but yet i still cant let go, i am all alone and he has been there for years it hasnt all been bad but it hasnt been good either, this site is the ony place i have been truly honest with how i feel and things that have happened i havent held back.
i have a previous post 'On the verge of who knows what' which i use as a journal blog as i want to see how my moods are and have something to reflect on, i just dont know what to do for the best, he says he doesnt want me but doesnt want me to go either he doesnt realise this leaves me just as confused as he feels
sorry for going on and a long post i'm just all over the place
