"I can want her to have control but hope that she sees the value in our marriage."
You see how everything you've based your sitch on is reliant on your W's action or reaction. What about yours? First thing you need to learn is that your actions can affect your W's reactions. Of course you want your W to make a decision to stay or not, it's called free will. But you need to see that your actions count as well. Not to her but to yourself.
The whole purpose of GALing is to gain back the self-esteem you may have lost when the bomb dropped. And i know you're probably going to say that you have loads of self-esteem. IMO if you did, you wouldn't keep giving control to her. You would start caring about your needs. And I'm not talking about your need or want for your W. It's how you want your life to be with or without her.
Doing your own thing or changing for the better isn't manipulating her. It's you becoming a better man. And it's up to her whether or not she wants to enjoy the benefits of that.
But if you don't start making yourself seem like a prize by actually fighting for something you believe in (even symbolically like your home), then why would she think that you would fight for her if you got back together?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
