I am almost a WAW, but I am not sure I want to be

[habitacker]

I am sorry about your situation. I do not want to give advice because I am not qualified, but I would like to offer something that came to mind while reading your post.

I have been a pretty verbally abusive husband, sounds like your husband is also. I did not have the money issues like your husband has.

I am a changed man and I want you to know what did it. It is the same thing that changes a lot of us. The BOMB. When the WAW tells us it is over. This is an action, and men understand action, not words. We need to be hit with a sledgehammer.

The problem with me and a lot of us is, by the time the WAW does this, it is to late for her, she has already given up. Like my wife.

My point being. You say you are not a WAW yet, and I agree. You are not giving up yet. So what would happen if you did everything that a WAW would do before you actually become one? Do you see what I am getting at?

Before taking MC advice and giving up, why not try something drastic. Drop the bomb on him. Tell him it's over. See if he reacts the same way the rest of us are. Truly changing.

This would be hard. It would have to be a long drawn out process just like a WAW would be. If he works at it, make him work harder, if he changes, make sure they are for real.

This may be a horrible idea, I don't know. I do know if you are going to get a guys attention, you have to hit him hard.

I hope a veteran will comment on my thoughts. I just know what got my attention, and if you look at all the guys that want there WAW back, and are willing to do anything, and to actually change themselves for the better, why not look at what made them do it.

Please do not apply this without further research, and if it does become something to try, it needs a more drawn out plan.