Now and Zen

[hope2011]

Ok, let's see.... what are some 180's you can do to improve yourself (regardless of the marriage)... but that may get back to him. Or that he'll notice in court next month. Lose weight / gain weight? Get a new haircut? Get a tan? Dress differently? Join a club / gym / group? Go out more? New job? New hobby? Something he said you would never do but always wanted to? What is a 180 for you but still in your comfort zone?

I agree with you, the dating site idea isn't too hot. And yes, there are sleazy people on there. I met H on one (compatibility one, not one of those swingers one). If the D does happen for me, I will never date on-line again. People lie. Especially men. What about Facebook?

Something I did when I was DB'ing in my first marriage that worked... I had a blog. Well, it was a site (blogs weren't around then). It was my thoughts, adventures, etc. Fun photos of me doing stuff on my own or with friends. My ex visited it several times a week (I had a hidden tracker on it). He thought I was a homebody, afraid to do fun stuff so it really worked. What happened for me was by trying to appear more fun and positive and outgoing and carefree... I actually became those things. You can do the same with Facebook or a blog.

Thankfully the boys are teenagers and completely too wrapped up in themselves to notice anything. They are at their mom's until next week so haven't seen them since the bomb. H says he's not ready to tell them anything and we don't argue in front of them so for now, they don't know what's going on. Thank God.