No this is great. You're doing everything you can. The next time she starts up another R talk, try stopping her before she gets into again. Tell her that you understand that she's hurting but she's rehashing everything and it's your choice to be happy. Then leave. Let her figure that out herself.
Don't worry my W was the same way. We sat in MC for not more than 2 minutes before she said she wanted a D and nothing was going to change her mind. The C looked at me and said the M was dead since she didn't want to work on it. Now today, my W just called me to see how my day was going. I saw the C about a month ago and he was genuinely surprised that we were still M'd since my W was set on it.
Your W is probably still hurting from the withdrawal of the A most of all. So she needs to "feel" something. Even if it's hatred towards you. She's pointing the emotional rifle looking for something to shoot and lo and behold, you are the closest one there. So start by moving out of her crosshairs. Call her out on her BS when necessary and don't be too accessible to her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
