Working on acceptance and forgiveness

[AntoniaB]

OH MY GOD. I don't know what to think about this.

My H just told me that he has been deliberately not contacting me and not showing me any emotion because my sister emailed him and asked him not to, saying it was "bad for me" if he did so.

Not that he was trying to resurrect anything, he wasn't.

But this all came up because one of our cats is sick and might be in kidney failure. I emailed to tell him that because I now live alone, that a diagnosis of kidney failure will likely mean I'll have to put her down because I can't administer her fluids by shot every day alone, and I could take her to the vet several times a week for them to do it, but it would be too costly. Anyway I just emailed him to say "keep your fingers crossed it's not that and something more treatable and I'll let you know the results". His response was so matter of fact I couldn't believe it. It said "well the cats are old, this is to be expected, even if I lived there I'd say to put her down. By the way I'll be over to pick up my xbox games later today."

Well I could not stop myself. I was livid. I answered by saying "as usual your response is devoid of compassion for her and me and the possible impact her probable death is going to have on me in this difficult time. You seem to care more about your games than her life. I feel like a stranger would show me more compassion."

So he responds, "look, I'm like this because your sister contacted me and told me to not contact you and to not show emotion because she thought it would be bad for you. Don't accuse me of things I didn't do."

WTF???? I am sure she means well but is this not really overstepping her bounds? I have no clue when she did this. I just asked him; I'm waiting to hear back.