Just a little clarification on Validating your WAS.
Never say "I'm sorry you feel that way". You are apologizing for the way someone feels? It doesn't make sense. Validating is LISTENING and understanding someone else's point of view. Responses could be as simple as "O.K"....... I've never thought of it that way....... Nodding your head.....I can see why you would think that..... Whatever is authentic to you. Sometimes it is better to not even defend your point of view. Eg If W says "you are a jackass and you never stood up for me" Maybe the best response would be W, you are right I am a jackass. I don't understand why I acted like that.... This way they are more likely to take compassion for YOU...
After you Validate their feelings they may think to themselves.. you know what, maybe I am being to hard, he isn't a jackass... ect.. Where if you were to defend yourself and call them out on their crap behavior, they would stand firmer decision that you ARE A JACKASS. Think about this. You don't need to be a doormat, but sometimes it is O.K to be wrong and OWN it.
