DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

[ScaredinCanada]

Ok, it would appear that my original thread has died out.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2117463&page=1

I continue to "journal" so to speak over the holidays but received little support. Although it's been helpful for me to write down my thoughts/feelings/experiences, I'm starting to realize that the regular question or my comments and the support of members of this board helped me to stay the course and focus on what I had to do.

I still feel like I am focused and my W still comments occasionally about my changes. Last night she mentioned again that she sees changes in me (especially my tone of voice and attitude towards her) but she says it's an act.

I'm ok with that, because I know it's going to take time for her to really see the changes as real. The thing that really frustrates me now is how she routinely says negative things about the R. Last night she mentioned that we've never parented well together, that we don't agree on how to handle the kids - we do a much better job of parenting on our own "which will be a good thing when we seperate."

I just told her that I agreed at times we've struggled to support each other because we have different ideas on how to handle certain situations. I also said our D's are only 6, 4 and 2 so we are still relatively new parents and we are still learning.

So part of her feelings stemmed from last night. When I got home from work she told me wasn't feeling good (weve both been sick for weeks) and told her that she was welcome to go lie down after dinner and I would get the kids ready for bed. I then told the kids that if they finished their dinner they could have popcorn and watch the Canada vs Russia gold medal game with me (kids were thrilled). My W then got upset and said that she had wanted to just lie on the couch after dinner and watch some TV. I told her that I had assumed that she would have gone and lied in bed where it would be quite and she could even goto bed early because that's what I had done when I was sick. Now trying to be thoughtful/nice was back firing. So instead the kids myself and the W watched TLC together, and because they were up watching TV they went to bed later than normal.

As I was about to leave for work this morning, my D2 wakes up. My W asks me "Since your still home, can you take her to the bathroon, get her a drink and a snack and bring her in our room to watch cartoons?" - and of course I oblige. I come back, and ask my W if I can get anything for her and she just says "No, I only want to sleep...and I really wanted to be in bed early last night" - which is not what she told me last night. She said she wanted to lie down and watch TV...I offered to let her goto bed at 7:00pm!! UHHHHHHHH!

Anyways, just venting while starting a new thread. I also was supposed to be detaching, but seemed to be trying to "piece" because my W is like a YO-YO when it comes to giving positive signs. One day she is nice, and seems interested and the next day I am just "annoying".

SIC