Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

IR - my court date is to finalize the D, not a settlement hearing so I didn't understand why I had to go, but now I found out that I don't. With S, it is hard on him because he will go a week where H is super involved to not hearing from or seeing him for two weeks. It is just weird to me. I really just want some consistancy for S and myself. If H wants to be involved and call S and talk to him then do it maybe once or twice a week on a regular basis so S gets used to it and will have more to talk about. Not the call everyday one week and the next two only text right before he gets him. H doesn't know S at all and so when H has S, he constantly texts me to see why S is acting different or what is going on or what he should do. I feel like H is a babysitter instead of a parent so it is hard.

Talked to the paralegal yesterday. I don't have to go to court on the 13th and H's L said he would send over the agreement this week so I should have it early next week and hopefully it will still be finialized on the 13th. As long as H didn't try to pull any fast ones. Also I found out that I have to do the debit card thing which stinks, but oh well. I will just have to readjust how I pay my bills.

Lastly, I don't know what is up, but over the last week and a half I have been dreaming every night about the same guy and just holding his hand and having him helping me. I never have had this problem before. I am very independent and always have been, but I guess I am feeling very lonely. I wake up and my heart aches. Maybe it is the D getting finalized, maybe it is because I have been talking to this guy a lot lately, maybe it is that I am lonely. Who knows? But I don't like the feeling...

Otherwise everything is going well. S is doing a little better so that is good. Now that I don't have to miss work next week I feel better. I do have to miss half a day the week of the 18th and a full day the week of the 24th to go to meetings about textbook adoption. I really like the ipad, but I can't find anything that is age appropriate that is also educational. Everything is either too sophisticated or too juvenile, but I am thinking I might like to go this way...maybe...