I want to continue this growth and finding a job will be a great ego boost, not that I have a poor self-esteem, because I know I am great. But, being productive in a job, being around new people and taking control of my financial well-being will be a huge jump!
Good mindset up there ^^^^^
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I have been reading alot about the MLCer and really have determined that this is what is happening to my H.
Okay so now that you know what is going on with your H…what is going on with YOU?
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It is totally out of our control and learning to react properly is essential in forcing them to work on their own issues instead of blaming.
Totally out of YOUR control..YES… what is IN YOUR CONTROL? Oh….and YOU cannot FORCE someone to work on their own issues – it is a choice they must make when and IF they choose to. Once you embrace that concept you will be better positioned to really focus on what YOU need.
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My goodness, this could take forever.
Focusing on a timeframe or how long it could take will do you NO good. Make a choice to stand or not stand and then stick with it. While standing focus on you and your needs and leave your H to God. It really is the only way to get through this and THROUGH you will need to go. No short cuts, no quick fixes, nope…nothing but HARD WORK on YOURSELF.
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I just wish I could shut off my feelings as easy as it seems he is able to
“shut off feelings”…Hmmmm….I would not worry about that right now Lorie. Look you will more than likely love this man for the rest of your life. A love that may or may not change. Letting someone go is really the true form of love. Allowing your H to walk his own journey (while you walk YOURS) without guilt or frustration is truly love. Be proud of yourself and do not work to “shut off” the feelings. Your feelings will change when they are supposed to – all in God’s time.
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Just protect yourself. From expectations, from timelines, from all the things our H's do to assure themselves they "are not the bad guy".
You didn't break him. You can't fix him. Only God and time will accomplish that. In the meantime, you concentrate on your D and yourself.
Great quote up there ^^^^^ from Punkin….
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
