If you think about it your emotions are basically the same towards each other, just not quite in sync.
I think that each time he has run away he distances himself for shorter periods of time. He wants reconnection back to you and uses D to get there. The saddest part is he has D on the same ride.
I am pleased that he is coming around and has agreed to help you with the swim schedule. This will soften D's heart as she gets to spend alone time with Dad. He will manage to accomplish what he wants here because he knows her weaknesses.
IMO, H has to reconnect with D. He feels worse emotionally when they are on the outs. He truly loves her and in reality can't stand it when they are estranged. He comes creeping back to her slowly.....tests the waters......until she accepts him back.
This same thing happens between you and H. When H throws a tantrum like he just did, he hurts so emotionally that he has to fix it. If H would face reality, he would see that he wants to be in your life.
IMO, most OW exist only serving a purpose to the MLC state of being (lust, ego boosts, selfishness, freedom from responsibilities, etc...). For those lucky individuals who are actually able to overcome their MLC, the OW are the first ugly thing they see. Unfortunately once they see the beauty in us/families we have given up and are no longer a place they can return to. Most will then move on to another.
An advantage to having endured a long term separation is that our wayward have proof from our actions that we have been the better place to be all along. As I am seeing, even though things are actually very good, H is not ready to come out of MLC Land. I fear H is one of those who have found a new place to be and is actually very content, thus a drawback for a long term separation. The sword is actually double-edged.
GAG mentioned a M License is just a piece of paper. I agree, however a D decree is too and comes with such a painful price I have to wonder if the R, even as friendship, can sustain the damages. I am going to have to think on this long and hard. I am disgusted that I am actually faced with a D knowing how far H and I have come. I am disgusted by the fact the OW is still in his life. I feel I will completely bow out of his world after next week due to my inability to move on......
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
