Thank you all for your knowledge, sharing, and hard earned wisdom. It means more to me than words can ever convey to have your support during this.
WCW, I have read FIB's thread from beginning to end. I was so rooting for him during his sitch. That poor man was treated badly all the way around. He was tenacious when it came to time with his kids and I so admired that quality in him. I know we only get one side here, but IMO his XW was a fool for what she lost. That one reeked of MLC.
I am well aware that NYS favors the woman. That said, I do not want anymore from H than what is fair and just. Believe it or not, there was a time when he would have given me more than half, willingly. His love for me once was greater than his love of money.
We were saving for our future and the things we would do after the children were grown. That man has disappeared. This new guy, in his selfishness, believes that since I stayed home to raise the kids that I don't deserve half of what he's made. Even after returning to the work force and contributing to the household I didn't earn what he did, therefore I am not worth as much.
This is not mind reading on my part. These are things I've heard come out of his mouth during the 2 years before BD. In hindsight, I wished I would have researched why he changed so much back then. I thought I was dealing with depression in him. I had no idea it was so much more. I was so busy trying to fix him and make him happy again, that I didn't have time to consider that what was going on went so much deeper.
I will try to keep in mind in all of this while looking after my own interests, and that is what H is going through isn't something that he would have chosen to go through. He is not the man that he was. That said, I didn't break him, and know now that I can't fix him. I will however, do what I have to do to survive.
I don't want to rake him over the coals. He worked his butt off and made a good living for the kids and I. I felt blessed for my time at home with the kids, not many women these days get that chance if they want it. That said, being home was contributing too. I took care of everything at home so my workaholic could do what he did.
All I'm after in this is enough to live on and be comfortable if I'm blessed to make it to old age. The traveling and all that we were going to do in the future is out for me. He and ow will still get to do that even if I get half. In fact, they're doing it now.
His income potential is so much greater than mine at this point, and after he is rid of me the sky is the limit. By working OT, which is what he'll do given any opportunity, he will be able to make up what he is losing.
I will also keep in mind that I was blessed to know and love the man that he was and to be loved in return by him. For that, I'm grateful.
God bless you all, and thank you again for your support.
