I am not 100% sure yet if my w is sexually active with her male friend. Assuming the worst, I envision various acts and get so depressed. I'm not sure if I can take her back if she has!!!! What was pure is now contaminated and no longer mine. I'm afraid I could never get that out of my head that she could do such a thing and not honor our vows no matter how confused. Hell, I'm the man I and I resisted. Help me cope!!!
Hi Yippy, I'm sorry you are going through this and I understand exactly how you feel. My husband is also having an A and it is a crushing feeling to think of them being intimate. I wish I had advice for you but I don't as I am in the same boat.
What is the status of your R with her? Hopefully an experienced vet can help us both with this.
Good luck to you...
Me:32 H:32 M:9 T:15 D:4 S:2 OW/PA: JANUARY 10 ILYBINILWY AUGUST 10 Goes and Comes July/September Moves out September Sep. since Sept.
An affair is one of the hardest things to get over, past and forgive in a person.
The images you have in your head are bad. The monsters in the closet.
IF your wife is having an affair, that is bad enough. Your imagination is going to make it worse. All the things she did with you all the things she didn't do with you, even the ammount.
It's not good for you to spend your time imagining them together. It will fester in your head.
Sex is something shared not to be owned. So the 'mine' statement...its a bit much. Should she be having sex with someone else? No, if she is. It's a very poor choice on her part.
Can you get those pictures out of your head? Yes you can in time, when she proves herself committed to being married to you, they'll fade.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Thank you guys so much for responses! I think the actual affair itself would be easier to accept over the lying about it!!!!!! We've been together 21 years and you have to lie to me????? I'm the man I was supposed to go sexually crazy during the separation!!! lol I stayed true to my vows better or worse good times and bad. I am wondering even though I have made terrific progress these past several weeks if it's even worth it! I'm in pain and unable to talk to her about it or tell her I love her while she is out partying!!!! Who needs this crap! I'm so tired of being played the fool! But yeah, I love the girl !Wish I could cut that part out of me. Life would be so easy if it were me who didn't care!
An A is by far the worse thing you can go through and there is no magic potion or secret words anyone can give you but you can begin to heal and detach a little and the pain will slowly go away. I say that while I am miserable mess but I do have my moments of clarity. Hang in there and tell your story
