I'm helping her move out? I'm losing my mind.

[Denver_2010]

First, let me just say that you and I are similar in at least some respects. I am 38, am also from a broken home, and NEVER wanted this for myself or family. It is absolutely gut wrenching! I have been miserable for 2 months now. But my situation has also progressed farther than your's has to this point. My W told me that she was moving out and 2 weeks later she did. She is just now beginning to deal with some financial hardship. She has complained to me about being broke 3 or 4 different times over the past 2 weeks. I think that it is good. Long term, I don't want my W to return to me bc of money, but I d*mn well would be fine if she decided to give our M another chance bc of the financial stress. I'd have my foot in the door so that I would have an opportunity to show everything that I have learned from this experience. That's all I need to make her fall back in love with me. I have no doubt about that. The problem is getting that opportunity.

So, I don't see what has happened with your situation as all that bad. You provided her with a reality check... my W needs it, so does your's. You should have avoided the argument, but that's the only thing that you may have messed up on. I think that Grocery is right about how to proceed. Let her make her choice now. If she decides to move out, let her do all of the work in getting that arranged. Don't be cold, rude, or mean about it, and definitely don't try to change her mind anymore. Just let her do it. You would be giving her the freedom to choose, space... and time, if she decides to move.

If she decides to stay bc of money, well then, you are a step ahead of me. Still give her space, but do your 180s and be the man that she fell in love with in the first place so that she no longer wants to move. Just don't pressure her or pursue her. Let her make her choices, own them, and deal with their consequences.