Need Insight III

[angel61]

Pickle, Been reading the articles in the link. They are very good. Seems like most of the people in this board reads them , as all of the terminology is the same.

So far, I have been able to label my H with some of the descriptions in the articles, as such:

1. He is a distancer, I am a pursuer - even before the bomb.
2. He is a boomerang type - a clinging boomerang
3. He is an ego-deflater

Thinking of your sitch, I think your W is the female version of my H - both of them wanting some sort of legal S or D but keeping the contact with the family for reasons of guilt, especially because of the kids, and the convenience of still being in a family type situation (your W wants to live as roomies, my H wants to live as neighbours, but with 1/2 time living in the same house). So probably your W falls into the same categories as well. She seems a little less clingy though copared to my H, more aggressive and willing to move, while my H is passive, seems to avoid change, does not do anything (not even researching about D! even if he talks about it. He probably wants to just push me so hard so that I will do all the work, as I always have). Well, this works for me as buying time is still my startegy in all of this.

Right now I am trying my best not to rock the boat. I go home from work and don't even talk to him, just go up to the room, talk to D, surf, work some more, read, clean while he cooks, then just go down when he yells "eating time".

Denver, Pickle - good luck to all three of us. Remember, D is not the easy way out actually. Denver, I read somewhere you atre a lawyer so you know all the intriccacies, so it may be the easy way for you but I don't view it that way!