Just checking in on you! You know I know how you feel right now. It does get better... Give yourself some time and maybe get that massage we were talking about! We don't know where this path is leading but have faith that it will be good in the end!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
((((((SA)))))) Since yesterday I'm struggling with what to write to you, how to support you....all I can come up with is.... I'm so sorry...I feel your pain...I know how this hurts....
Quote:
We don't know where this path is leading but have faith that it will be good in the end!
CW is right
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thank you to all my kind friends for coming to support me. I do need it right now as I wait for that knock on my door.
I live in NYS and the question I was asking was how long would it take for the L to draw the papers up and then have them served? Could it be a matter of days? There is a specific reason I'm asking this question and it has to do with some money my H may be coming into. His cousin died recently (last week)and H was his legal guardian. There may be a possible inheritance and definitely a stipend for handling everything that H doesn't want to share. He would have seen the L last week about all of this and I'm sure that's when the D proceedings started.
I could be wrong about this but it does seem strange that his cousin dies one week and I get served the next. This thought struck me late last night. It's possible that since he was at the L's anyway he decided to start the process.
I'm not where he left me. I will protect myself and my kids.
I am not an L and don't know how it works but I think the basic papers can be drawn up pretty quickly...it is the property agreements etc that can take some time....
In my state, if I inherit something during the M...it is mine. The spouse does not get any of it in a D.
Is this what you were asking?
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
In the state of Texas when an inheritance comes into your spouse's hands....it belongs to the spouse...no matter whether you are married or not......life ins was pd for my in laws when they died 50k+ was given to each 5 of them and I got crap...because it was an inheritance... we were already sep and he was living with the O/W.....all is gone now of course he spent it all like crazy.. Didn't even save any for his own children. I now hear he is struggling without a job...and he won't let her work...which I am sure she loves that....Irma
In my state there was a long form that H had to fill out (~10 pages). First couple pages were demographics (addresses, previous Ms, children, etc). I don't know whether H filled it out or his L filled out the fill in the blank stuff with standard crap. My H threatened to have me served a few times over 2 months before he actually did it. He was so unfocused at that time that I thought he might not have the attention span to complete the paperwork. My time frame was the same as yours --- right after the holidays. My H/XH went to his Ls office before he went to visit FL BMF for New Years (so around December 27th or so) and the first attempt to serve me was made on January 4th. Didn't actually get served until January 6th. Around here it costs something like $300 to get served (filing the papers with the court) + the cost for the courier service (don't remember how much). Your H will still get charged for the courier service even if they have unsuccessful delivery attempts. You can hide inside your house if you want and not answer the door or just plan to be gone every day if you want. Just be aware that if your H knows where you are, he will have you served at that location.
To track the status of your case, your county probably has a public records website that you can log into. In my county that website is a little hard to find so I had to call and speak with someone so that they could help me find it. It didn't really show anything though until the judge set up the date for our hearing. There is probably a lot of information on that website though that may be useful to you.
I'm so sorry to hear about the inheritance . "The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil."
Regarding meeting with a L, my sister is a L (not family law) so she coached me in ways to limit my L's fees. The number one rule here is to be VERY well-organized and prepared every time you interact with your L. Have all of your documentation ready. I had two 3" thick 3 ring binders with copies of all documentation (one for me and one for L) with index tabs for each section and a color-coded table of contents on the front so that during our meetings I could quickly turn to the information the L wanted and answer any questions he had. Time is money with Ls so the more work you can do on your own, the more $$ you will save. I guess it depends on who is paying the L: you or H. Every time you speak with or e-mail your L or his/her paralegal you will be charged in 10 minute increments (most likely), so save up questions to ask in an organized fashion all at once.
I also went to the local law school and copied information on D law from the state statutes so that I could ask my L important questions.
I know this sounds overwhelming now. When I was there I was walking in a daze with my sister coaching me over the phone to do these things. Organization is key in saving $$ with your L.
. "The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil."