Deju vu, but new to the online forum...round 2

[Denver_2010]

I get frustrated when I am told things that seem to be preparing me for divorce. It makes you feel like everyone knows something you don't. I want to stay positive and have faith. I understand the reasons for GAL and detaching, but sometimes a lot of people say this is the thing to do so when it doesn't work out you will be ok. Sorry, that doesn't work for me. If it doesn't work out, then, I will deal with the divorced me.

I am not saying I am not working on the new me now. That I believe has to be done, and will make me a better person whatever happens. Working on myself so I am prepared for divorce if it happens makes me feel like I have given up.

Habit and MJ - I'm fairly certain that everyone on this board has felt this exact same way. I don't think that anyone is telling either of you to work on yourself to prepare for divorce. IMO the point is, is that WE canNOT control the feelings or actions of our S. The ONLY thing that we can control is ourselves. We work on the issues and actions that led us here that we own. Not those that our S's own. We do it to improve ourselves so that however things work out we are better prepared for R with our S, new R, or by ourselves. All of us hope that our S's wake the h*ll up, see what wonderful partners we can be, and come back to M. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. But it is not prepping for divorce. JMO

With that being said... I too find it very difficult to keep hope alive with my sitch. There have been very few hopeful signs with me and my W. I struggle to do this everyday. But in the end, it is all, and everything, that I can do to fight for my M.